In Writing a Memoir: A Retrospective Showcase of Memories

In writing a memoir we are confident that our story matters in the greater scheme of things. In Walking on Water, Madeline L'lengle quotes Jean Rhys answering an interviewer in the Paris Review. "Listen to me. All of writing is a huge lake. There are great rivers that feed the lake, like Tolstoy and Dostoyevsky. And there are mere trickles, like Jean Rhys. All that matters is feeding the lake. I don't matter. The lake matters. You must keep feeding the lake.” Our memoir, then, is feeding that lake of relevance. We are convinced about this.

A Storytelling Dilemma in Writing a Memoir

Having confidence in showcasing our life on the page is one thing, how to write our personal stories into a memoir is another. What is required then in writing a memoir?

Since this is our story, we should find enough material to fill up the pages. There is no need for a set-up of plot or characters. We have more than enough subplots from experienced events. Our diary may have documented details of times and places that we've been. We are the main character of this story, and all subordinate characters have names matching their quirks and differences. So let us just put these all together and viola, we have a memoir.

But Wait, is Writing a Memoir that Simple?

To venture into writing a memoir is to embrace its characteristic struggle. There is joy in remembering the good old days, but we must also be ready to flashback to the grimmest phases of our journey. There will be that tug between truth-telling and performance. To be real, we cannot rely merely on facts. So how exactly will we go back?

We all start with a single step. Starting on memoir writing, the first step is to make sure that we are well aware that creativity is required. Not merely a recounting but a creative retelling. Not just a chronology but a woven tapestry. How are these demands for creative storytelling different from other writings? What makes it distinct from a short fiction written with an I point of view, an autobiography, or a personal essay?

Defining a Memoir

Our memoir, our legacy. This means that our desire to detail about our days on the pages of a memoir is hoping to impact, affect, or stamp an influence or inspiration. We are writing to be remembered as ourselves. This creative work of non-fiction may give us every opportunity to lie and project. Memories can be fabricated as well. But we need to be honest and devoid of egoistic tendencies for our story to resonate. Our memories may not be exact, but still, our aim is to tell our story well.

In his paper “All Writing is Autobiography,” Dan Murray argues that all writers source their materials from their personal experiences. Whether they are writing a poem, a short story, a novel, or a piece of literary journalism, a writer is always autobiographical. However, an essay, poetry, or a short story can camouflage the self. Yet from its inception to its structure, our self is a project for disclosure in writing our memoir.

Curating Our Life

In writing our memoir, we must decide on the dominant theme or aspect of our journey. Art curators will not merely collect pieces of artwork, but in doing so, they also make sure that the works fit a theme or message. They are hoping to guide their guests to a gainful art appreciation. Our aim in writing the memoir is like that of an art curator. Since we will exhibit the details and memories of our lifetime, we need to think carefully about what to include in our showcase.

An artist’s oeuvre is almost always appreciated based on the stages of their development and their commercial value. We will decide and select the experiences leaning toward a central thought or intention. Our memoir as a retrospective showcase of memories must capture the essence of our curated life.

About Style in Writing a Memoir

A type of creative non-fiction, an engaging memoir uses all the devices of fiction writing. We can develop our memoir using a narrative arc, an engaging plot, an effective character development strategy, and a lyrical telling. All these will weave details of every time and space into a full grasp of our life’s circumstances. There is no shying away from mimicking the dramatic strategies in play. Memoirs can proceed stylistically through dialogue and conversations. The form and structure can vary, but the memoir shall remain true to the lived life, disallowing style to delude the authenticity.

A memoir relies on memory. Facts are important, but the memoir has the liberty to give prominence to personal recollections. This poses a dilemma since memories are unreliable. If our memories will matter at all, it’s because our writing style achieved an affective resonance. Our reader can relate to our true personal experience because we were able to weave our tale in a way that highlighted an emotion. Most memoirists admit to their memories being infallible and poke at the reliability of their recollections. This adds to the authenticity of their telling.

Anticipating an Audience

Anybody can write a memoir but not everybody will relate to a published memoir. It seems irrelevant to pinpoint a target reader, although each memoir will have a definite audience. Thus, the motivation and intention of writing a memoir can be that one definite recipient, whose shadow is vague at the moment of writing. Somebody has had the same trauma, has been to many places, has achieved professional milestones, has overcome physical deficiencies, has witnessed the worst calamities, and so on. Every memoir is proof that all lives matter. In writing a memoir, we are anticipating that one special audience to witness our infinity in our pages.